


Portrait of the Con Artist as a Young Man

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Ocean's (Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-22
Updated: 2004-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-25 08:06:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1640513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for leah k</p>
    </blockquote>





	Portrait of the Con Artist as a Young Man

**Author's Note:**

> Written for leah k

 

 

"One. Two. Three."

Nothing.

"One. Two. _Three._ "

Even with added emphasis, still nothing.

And this time Linus had made sure to double- (and triple-) check the batteries. Which meant that either Rusty had been burnt or Linus' string of bad luck was reaching Bible-like proportions.

Calm down kid. Take deep breaths and remember Rusty's Rules for Raucous (and not) Occasions (trademarked to one Rusty Ryan). Check the scene. See if anything, or more importantly *anyone* looks off, suspicious or overly calm. Cops invariably try to pull off the `I belong here' face. Dead giveaway. But above it all, stay loose. Be ready to improvise. And if everything goes to shit, just keep staying these things over and over. Embrace the mantra.

Linus repeated Rusty's rules in English, Spanish and pidgin Chinese before he felt like he had a slight grasp on the situation. It was probably just another test. Yet another way to see if Linus really was a good fit, a worthy student or some other bullshit. Just like that customs official in Nepal.

Calm down kid.

It was probably nothing. Just keep repeating the rules and remember to stay calm. Stay Calm had become Linus' number one rule. It wasn't technically on the Rusty Rule's list, but then again when Rusty had gone to the trouble of creating the rules he wasn't exactly be chased by a very pissed off Vegas casino operator. Or maybe he was, but odds were that guy wasn't nearly as scary as Terry Benedict.

Speaking of, Linus just realized he hadn't seen his tail that morning. Nor had Rusty made his customary "When the hell is Danny getting out and taking these assholes off our hands?" comment over breakfast.

Shit.

They were blown. He should have figured it out a lot sooner of course. Right now Rusty was probably half-way to the safe-house pissed off that the past two months of background work was now useless.

Well, Linus amended, seemingly useless.

Because in truth there was no way of knowing for certain that the plan had been corrupted by Benedict's goons, poor intel or Linus' ever-increasing shitty luck. Which in turn led to two possibilities: a) the plan might be fine just slightly delayed for some unknown reason-

A twist of the combination lock still revealed nothing and the gauge at his side still read blue.

Or b) Nobody would expect Linus to improvise. Since he didn't know what he was going to do, no one else would either. Impossible to read an unknown mark. At the moment, he was the ultimate blank slate.

Which was ironically what got him into this quandary in the first place.

**

"The first thing is-" Rusty paused to wipe mayonnaise from the corner of his mouth. "You sure you want in on this?"

Linus rolled his eyes for what felt like the fortieth time that conversation.

Rusty put up his hand in apology, "Sorry, sorry man. I know I said I wouldn't ask anymore. It's just that it's a little o-o-c of you, tracking me down and asking questions. I'm a little, what's the word?"

"Paranoid?" Linus offered helpfully.

"Funny," Rusty shot back. "No man, I'm just a little surprised is all. Figured you for a one and outer. Did the Benedict thing and poof, you'd be done."

Linus' eyes got bigger and he leaned in, "I'm not sure if you've noticed, but-"

Rusty turns in his seat, waving his burger at the two guys in the corner, "Those guys? I've been calling my Sluggo, I think it fits him."

"Been calling? You mean you knew they were there and you're still-"

"Casual? Relaxed? Enjoying a fine bacon mushroom swiss burger with cheese fries? Why yes, yes I am." Rusty smiled, "Listen kid. There are things you need to know about Terry Benedict. First and foremost, he doesn't want us. He wants Danny. Which means as long as Danny is playing bridegroom in the joint, we're fine. So relax, eat something. Just lay back; you're making me all tense."

Linus risked a glance towards the corner, but Rusty shook his head.

"Listen kid, just because you know they are there, doesn't mean you give them the satisfaction of knowing that you know they are there. Keep an eye on them, but don't look for them." He took another bite out of his burger, chewing and softly humming to himself. "Okay, the thing is..."

**

The first job Rusty arranged for him to tag along as a silent partner. In this case, quite literally. A childhood fever had robbed young Joey Dawson (Rusty had an unhealthy fascination with WB teen dramas) aka Linus Caldwell of his voice box, leaving him with a mastery of lip reading but nothing else. Possibly one of the worst cover stories, but so far it seemed like the other guys were buying it.

Just when the dollar amounts are being settled, the head negotiator for the other side casually mentions adding an extra twenty grand for `additional troubles.' Rusty stands quickly, offers smiles and apologies all around and then walks for the door. Linus watches him go, shrugs and follows Rusty.

Once they're back at the safe house, Linus goes on for ten minutes about, "I can't believe we just walked out of a meeting with known operatives of the MOB! Not just a regular mob, but the real-life Mob. I turned my back on them. I can't believe I still have a back after that. Rusty, are you even listening to me? We just blew off the fucking MOB!"

Rusty merely nodded, "Didn't feel right. They respect that. You never want a guy working for you that's edgy about something. I got spooked, we left. That's it."

"THAT'S IT?" Linus exploded. "Are you fucking kidding me? They are going to kick our ass. I bet Benedict is somewhere laughing his ass off right now."

"Calm down, kid. It's not that big of a deal. We passed on it, its fine. Stop creating impossible scenarios in your head." Rusty wandered over to the phone, "You hungry? I'm thinking breakfast for dinner, but if you're up for something, just tell me."

Linus sat down on the end of the bed, rubbing his temples, "I just can't believe that's it. Never mind who's involved, never mind the payoff, all that matters is how it feels."

A wide Cheshire cat smile spread across Rusty's features, "That's the only thing that ever matters. Consider that Rusty's Rule One. Now about that breakfast."

"Order whatever you want, I'm going to go take a shower," Linus said wandering into the bathroom. He grabbed his toiletries bag from under the sink and pulled out his tiny notebook. Reaching for his pen, he uncapped the lid and in clear, distinct letters he wrote: Rule One- The only thing that matters is how it feels.

**

After about three months, there was a job that entailed a stop off at Reuben's place for more coverage. At least that was the excuse Linus was given, he was beginning to learn that Rusty tended to have multiple reasons for doing certain things. And surely they could have gotten the intel they needed from someone less connected to the Vegas Job, as Rusty had begun to refer to it. As in "Yeah, we pulled the Vegas Job. Well, I did, the kid here was just getting his diploma. Decided he wanted to skip college and go straight for the white-collar crime circuit. So here we are. Now about this job..."

Linus had gotten up early to take another stroll around the house. It seemed like a weird sort of homecoming and he thought that Rusty might have felt the same way. As he neared the patio, he heard Reuben's voice and decided to listen in. It wasn't eavesdropping unless you got caught (Rusty Rule Number Sixteen).

"You've done a good job. I almost wouldn't have recognized him as the same scared kid sitting out on my patio while everyone else got ready for the job. His look has changed, more sophisticated, not like a student anymore."

"Yeah, I got rid of the baseball cap and t-shirts." Rusty said around a mouth of something. Oranges probably, the man had a fetish for foods he could get dirty with while eating. Definitely explained his relish for sloppy sandwiches.

Rueben laughed, "Now you know that's not the kind of student I meant. But seeing as he's busy lurking in the shadows right now I don't think we'll talk about this right now." Over his shoulder he says in Linus' direction, "Welcome to the game kid."

"Yeah?" Linus answers, torn between happiness at the feeling of acceptance and annoyance at being caught listening in.

Reuben looks from one to the other and shakes his head. He passes on what little he knows about the current job and wishes the two well.

Later as he watches them drive away, he realizes that Rusty's going to eat the kid alive. He feels a twinge of guilt at the thought but lets it pass. Nothing is more important to the con artist than the con. Everybody learns that eventually. He learned the hard way, so did Danny. Danny passed on the less to Rusty. And now it looked like it was Linus' turn.

Poor kid.

**

"Okay, so we did the major rules; 'misdirection', 'con man means you have to have confidence' and 'what you did before has little to no bearing on what you can do now' aka 'the past is shite to borrow Basher's words." Rusty leans back against the wall, nursing his whiskey neat. He's spent the evening trying to impart all the knowledge of his many years on this young whippersnapper and Linus seems to be nodding off.

Elbowing the kid, "Wake up junior. I'm getting to the most important rule of all."

"I already know it," Linus grumbles. "You told me on the first day, now can we please go to sleep."

Rusty gestures at him with his glass, "Ah ha! You only think I told you the most important rule. In fact, I told you the most important rule in order to not get caught. The actual rule is completely different." He pauses and waits for Linus to respond.

Taking a soft snore as a sign to continue, Rusty pontificates to the empty room, "The number one rule, the ultimate thing to never forget and the only thing that ever matters is to never, I mean Never, fall in love with your mark. See one Daniel Ocean for further proof."

**

"And then there was that time with the-" Rusty stops abruptly, not because he was rambling on about old jobs thereby negating Basher's rule, but because he finally realizes something. He doesn't ramble or try to make polite conversation. He's not that guy. In fact, he's the guy that enjoys the discomfort of others, who one might say even excels at doing so. And yet, he's rambling on for no real purpose without a clear objective, for-

There he goes again. Trying to explain something that shouldn't be happening. Rusty Ryan doesn't make mistakes, he doesn't break the five major rules (or four or however many), and he damn sure doesn't pull a Danny Ocean.

Except he is. Or he has. Or he's going to.

Rusty shakes his head and tries to ignore the voice inside that is still rambling/continuing/rivaling Olivier for pointless monologues. Screw the inner voice, screw the five rules and screw Daniel Ocean. After all he wouldn't be anywhere near this kid without that damn Vegas Job. Never would have seen the potential, or been swayed by his look or drawn in by his- Naivet&eacute wasn't quite the word, but it was damn close. Somewhere along the way Rusty Ryan had gotten suckered by one Linus Caldwell and he was surprisingly upset about it.

Meanwhile, the subject of this rage was sitting quietly, keeping tabs on the no-necks in the corner. He'd mastered most of the things Rusty had taught him, staying calm and improvising still being the two areas that still needed work. But he'd mastered the main tenets and flaws and all, Rusty would still put Linus up against the best in the business. Provided Rusty was there for back-up, just in case.

**

A sudden tap on the shoulder interrupted Linus' thoughts, "Hello young man. Could you possibly help an old lady across the street? You look like an upstanding young citizen. Maybe even a Boy Scout?"

Linus turned with his best polite smile, ready to brush off the old lady and get back to his all-consuming thoughts on how to help Rusty when he felt her arm latch tightly around his. Taken aback for a moment, he looked at her face and had to quickly swallow a laugh. Rusty had obviously figured out a better way to improvise than Linus had managed.

"Sure thing ma'am," Linus managed through gritted teeth. He focused on counting to ten in Japanese to distract from the fact that Rusty was wearing what looked like the hotel drapes as a gown.

"Weren't you supposed to be counting?" Rusty whispered.

"Weren't you supposed to be a man?" Linus shot back.

Smiling sweetly, Rusty asked, "Why, kid, you weren't worried were you?"

"Not for a second."

Rusty, or rather the old woman that Rusty was pretending to be, leaned over and kissed Linus' cheek softly. "You're a dear young man. Thank you very much." And with a wink 'she' wobbled down the sidewalk and in the direction of the safe-house.

Watching 'her' go and chewing on his bottom lip, Linus was left once again marveling at Rusty's ability to change any subject, twist any mark and above all control every situation. Even the ones inside Linus' head it seemed.

**

One hour later and possibly two million dollars richer, Linus knocks on the door of the safe house.

Rusty answers, cheese steak in hand, "Took you long enough."

"Sorry," Linus replies, ducking past him, "Lost Sluggo but couldn't ditch Nancy, I ended up having to double back twice. Besides, I wanted to give you enough time to take off the makeup."

"Not another word."

Linus holds his hands up, "Whatever you say... ma'am."

Rusty puts down his sandwich, wipes off his hands and his mouth and slowly walks towards Linus. He puts his hands under the lapels of Linus' suit and pulls him close. Softly, Rusty says, "Not. Another. Word."

"Then I guess you better figure out a way to distract me from the sight of you in drag," Linus challenges.

Rusty smiles, he can think of quite a few ways to distract Linus. After all a good con artist never gives away all his tricks. Not giving Linus a chance to escape, Rusty falls back against the bed, using gravity to bring Linus with him.

 

 

 


End file.
